I should preface this post by letting you know I am gay, I have a partner of six-years, and we have three children via gestational surrogacies. If you haven't figured it out by now, I am pro-gay marriage. I'm actually pro-marriage in general whether it be two men, two women, a man and a woman, two transgendered individuals, etc. Governor Perry recently had to clarify his views on gay marriage after he said that the state of New York was just in granting gays the right to marry. Why should America continue to deny rights to portions of our population that others enjoy? Is that not hypocritical? Here are some bullet points to substantiate my views:
1-Denying my partner and I the right to marry is a violation of our religious freedoms.
2-The benefits that come with marriage should be given to all people. Benefits such as medical/end of life decisions, joint ownership, and the financial/tax benefits.
3-Homosexuality is not a choice a person makes, rather it is biological....just as being heterosexual is not a choice. Contrary to popular belief, "praying the gay away" does not work, it only masks one's true desires. I know this from personal experience.
4-Despite some political leaders' views and statements, homosexuality does not hurt society or anyone.
5-Denying gays the right to marry is a form of discrimination..
6-What really matters is that two people love each other and want to commit their lives to each other.
Many will disagree with me, but I compare the gay marriage issue to issues of the past such as women's suffrage and the civil rights movement. It's hard to believe today, but at one time women weren't allowed to vote and we all know about how African Americans/Blacks were mistreated. I know that the United States Constitutional right of gays to marry will not be granted overnight, but it will happen in time. I intend to be part of the driving force that heeds the call.
Before I begin I would like to tip my hat to Mr. Anderson for his courage to stand up for and make his voice heard on a topic that he feels very strongly about.
ReplyDeleteAn article posted on the Democrat Stuck In The Middle of Redland blog, written by author R. James Anderson entitled It’s time to really stir the pot…..I’m pro gay marriage. Here’s why:, voices his views on pro-marriage, regardless of gender, in the State of Texas.
Focusing specifically on the right to engage in a same-sex marriage, Mr. Anderson brings to light many logical concerns under his ultimate question of “Why should America continue to deny rights to portions of our population that others enjoy?”
In response to the author’s question, I would first like to say that I feel that the legalization of same-sex marriage should not be something that the people or the government should be able to decide. It should be a born right. It is not anyone’s business but the interested parties involved in the courtship. Not only is it a violation of freedom for same sex couples not to be able to marry but it absolutely screams discrimination. Additionally, not only is it unfair but it also denies a couple marriage associated rights as stated by Mr. Anderson in his article.
Secondly, Mr. Anderson brings up a very valid point stating that “homosexuality is not a choice a person makes, rather it is biological.” Studies have found this to be more and more factual as stated in the AllPsych Journal posting entitled Homosexuality: Nature or Nurture written by Ryan D. Johnson.
To love and be loved is the most important unwritten right a person has regardless of who you are. Why would anyone want to take this away? There is so much hate in the world today that for someone to find another person to love and spend their life with should be all that matters, regardless.
Mr. Anderson, in my past readings I had come across a comment stated by Michael Josephson that I would like to direct to you as I could not have said it better, “I boldly and unequivocally support the legal rights and full extension of not merely tolerance but true acceptance of and support for every son and daughter, brother and sister, friend and colleague, and complete stranger who loves and is committed to someone of the same gender. I have the privilege of knowing, admiring and loving a number of extraordinarily kind, talented and highly ethical gay men and lesbian women, and I am distressed that they must bear insults, prejudice, condemnation, and legal discrimination. It’s more than an issue of civil rights; it’s a matter of respect and caring; it’s a matter of human compassion.”
My kudos to Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, the District of Columbia and also to California for not taking the right away to already married same-sex couples while the battles are an issue in the courts.
Finally, even though Governor Perry has stated numerous times that he is against same-sex marriage was he truthful when he said “the State of New York was just in granting gays the right to marry” or was he just campaigning again?
I'd like to thank Mr. R James Anderson of the blog entitled "Democrat Stuck in the Middle of Redland" for his candid attempt at tackling gay marriage rights in his July 29th entry: "It's time to really stir the pot...". You revealed the state's opposition to gay marriage for the pointless, right-wing, discriminatory bias that it is. Even as young gays still struggle to find acceptance amongst their own peers, your personal experience, as a committed family man (honestly, a rarity in the gay world), really draws on the issue: What does Perry really care if you wanna get married? I've gotta say, the answer is probably way simpler than even he knows; I bet it's mostly about a fear of losing votes, especially with his 2012 "run for Presidency" looming.
ReplyDeleteWhat would it look like if the President is unabashedly "Pro Gay" and still trying to claim he's a hetero, God-fearing family man? Oh yeah: Obama. As much as he tries to enact laws towards true equal rights (i.e., it seems he genuinely supports gay rights, and wouldn't mind in the slightest if we married), he just can't do it because it's still so taboo and largely frowned upon in the U.S. to be openly gay. I believe that politicians today, despite of the backlash they may incur for supporting such sensitive subjects, need to work first on de-stigmatizing homosexuality as an abomination or sin. With the nation's gay population growing steadily (or perhaps just wishing to come out sooner or less dramatically than past generations) the general Anti Gay movement is waning, and the remaining, decidedly Anti Gay activists are emerging as sheltered, uneducated, or uncultured fools. What we have to work on is making this intolerance for intolerance a nationwide movement; then within time, there won't be so many closed-minded opposers.
For this argument, I agree with fellow student Sean Paek's comment on Mr. Anderson's blog, to paraphrase: "...the only way to solve this problem is to change people's perception of gays, which will take a lot of time and effort." This, I agree to. But what exactly is holding us back from being more accepted more than ourselves, the level headed gay and straight citizens? I think in order to eliminate hate and discrimination, we have to preach acceptance of all kinds. And if our schools aren't gunna help raise our kids to be more tolerant, we'll have to start taking matters into our own hands. What good exactly is it going to do to wait for a bill to pass, a proposition to be overturned, or a bull-headed Governor to change his mind, and deem same-sex unions "OK by him"?
The sad fact is, women and blacks weren't just treated fairly as soon as they were "extended" further civil rights by lawmakers. They continue to be discriminated against in work, school, and in many relationships to this day. By continuing to vote for politicians that we know are adamant against equal rights for gays, we are continuing to support government funded bias in America. My suggestion of a fix is not an easy one, but rather a very literal overhaul of the way we raise our young ones to accept and be accepted for who they are.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny to think that just two jobs ago, I wasn't completely comfortable outing myself to coworkers (not unless there was another gay in the workplace, and I knew their attitude about it). Ten years ago, when I first realized I was gay, it took me about a year to feel comfortable in my own skin about it, and another 2 years before I could tell anybody. While I know that's a relatively short time to be "closeted," in all honesty it had to have been the worst time of my life developmentally.
Sure, I was still walking and breathing just the same as before, but I became a reckless social disaster. Desperate for new attention (or acceptance for my looks, rather than having to explain myself), my true friendships became shallow, and I sought out wiser, more "street-smart gays" to show me the ropes. My most treasured social scene were gay bars before the age of 21. My relationships were fast and fleeting. I never felt bad or naughty per se, but I did have an overwhelming feeling that this was all just a big dirty secret; a "gaycation" I was having before going back to women, best kept under wraps. And since nothing real was to come of any of these relationships (nothing I would ever be allowed or care to bring home to Mom, anyway), I would get what I wanted and discard of the evidence before anybody was the wiser. I was always honest with my partners of what I was looking for, so I don't have any regrets...except for the fact that I probably tossed aside a few keepers.
The saddest part of those years, was that they were spent studying for a life that wasn't mine; I was out there on the front lines, learning to be a part of a culture that would never support my worth and talents. College, parents, and friends on the back burner, I wasted three years trying to figure out what "gay" was, and if I could handle it; if it was even for me. What I thought I needed was people to teach me how to dress, act, look, talk, meet, flirt, run, hide (I already knew how to Kick, Stretch, And Kick!). What I really needed was someone I cared about to say, "So you're gay. Get the fuck over it! Next hurdle."
Today, having "been gay" for 10 years, "out and proud" for 5 years, and committed to the best guy on two legs for almost 6, I don't worry so much about the past, although I do wish the transition would have been a lot smoother. What we have to focus on is the future, and making sure our little homo boys and girls are taught from as early an age as it takes that there is nothing to be ashamed of. That they can openly love and marry whomever they choose, without exception. And if their God, Bible, President, senator, state, governor, teacher, parents, or friends can't accept them for everything that they are, then it's time they start searching for better company.
(For a few entertaining if informative links, see the Blog with embeds Here: http://rzeker.blogspot.com/2011/08/in-what-country-is-it-unlawful-to-love.html )